I do not normally write about personal musings in this newsletter. But I thought of breaking my own rule this time.
So, I celebrated my birthday last week. (Yes - it was a milestone birthday. No, of course, I am not going to share the magic number, haha!).
Anyway, I tried taking a screen break that day and ended up having some alone time with my thoughts. I went down the nostalgia lane reminiscing about key highlights of my life reel - the moments of struggles, loss, successes, failures.
And today, I thought of sharing three of those musings with you. You can think of them as my random behind-the-scene thoughts.
One. We Are Privileged - let’s just accept it
I grew up in a modest middle-class household with parents who had big hearts. When I was young, I remember staying in a small rented house for the longest time. During rains, our house would get flooded and we even had water up to our knees. We had to pick up all the furniture, boxes, and things from the floor, pile them on our bed and spend the night dozing against them. One time, the roof of our house collapsed inches away from where I was standing and we ended up spending a few nights looking up at the stars.
Even with limited means, I never recall wanting anything that my parents didn’t get for me. Eventually, as we grew up, we ended up moving into our own house. As I was thinking back, most of all I remembered the pride in my father’s voice when he talked about having two daughters (at the time when every Indian parent wanted a son).
I thought about the freedom my parents gave me to choose my own education, career, and life partner. And as I look back, I am so thankful for these privileges I had growing up - a loving family, the safety of my home, access to education, and the freedom of choices.
Also I don’t think I would be halfway where I am today without the countless support, mentorship, and generosity shown by family, friends, colleagues, and bosses. The times my bosses mentored me about my career (and even financial) choices, the way my colleagues taught me empathy and lent me a shoulder to cry.
I am thankful to the people who continue to share their little nuggets of wisdom with me, knowingly or unknowingly. And I hope I can do a fraction of what they did for me for others too. This newsletter is my own little effort to give back - by sharing learnings that I wish I had when I was starting out in my career.
Two. Choose your partner wisely - it will make or break your career.
Each time this HBR article pops up on my feed, I feel like giving it a standing ovation - because I could not agree with it more. One of the most crucial life decisions you can make is the choice of your partner to build a life together. And let me tell you why!
There is one key reason that I have been able to manage to work in intense roles and pursue my interests in writing while being a mom to a pre-schooler. I have a partner who shares the load. My partner is hands-on with any chores, acts as an equal (rather than part-time) parent, and celebrates my victories as his own. He is literally outside our room right now being super-dad, while I squeeze out the time to write this letter.
The thing is that with rising expenses and ambitions, dual-income households are almost a necessity now. But most women end up holding two jobs - first in the office and second at home being the primary caregivers. So, if you are a career-oriented woman (especially in a developing country), then choosing your partner will literally be your ultimate make-or-break moment.
In case you are at this decision point, then let me give you my two cents. If you are not happy within yourself, you will not be able to make each other happy ever. So, have real conversations when choosing your partner, understand each other’s personal priorities and make informed choices. Your future self will thank you. If you must choose, then choose wisely, my friend!
Three. Always Eat the Frog - You will either totally love it or totally hate it!
As I was trying to think back on my life, I could not remember the easy things I have done. But I definitely remembered the times I made hard choices. The ones that made me scared, nervous, anxious. Times when I took the leap without knowing where I would land. Not all of them turned out to be the right decisions, but each of them taught me life lessons. And those are the ones I remember.
I started my career as the first employee of a startup while my friends were joining established firms (ended up being some of the most transformational years in my career). I trustingly made friends who pushed me under the bus (taught me how to separate the good from the bad in people). I made solo trips to different countries, experienced Northern Lights in the freezing cold, and rode dog sleds on ice (despite being deathly afraid of dogs). I also ran projects with leaders twice my age and was part of a team that made a historic day of climate action happen. But I also had to quit a job right at the cusp of being promoted. I lost my father when I was a new mom. And I changed many cities for reasons beyond my control.
Most of these times I was just trying to stumble my way through life. Some moments were downright scary and unpredictable. But looking back, those stand out as my tiny personal moments of victory.
Think about what you are scared of doing (aka your frog) - could be a new job, a new career, a new relationship, moving to a new city. And then take the leap. You might end up with a mistake but that too will teach you something. Eat the frog, my friend!
Well, that’s all for today. Thank you for making it this far.
If you would like to send me your virtual birthday wishes, consider signing up for this newsletter. It is free, will land straight in your inbox and there shall never be spam. If you also share with your friends, I will send some virtual cake and gazillion thanks your way!
See you next time with our regular bite-sized nuggets on leadership and impact!
If you missed the last issue on the Power of Delegation - here you go.
And now, go shine!
Loved it Rose!! Totally resonates with me especially on eating the frog.