Welcome to Issue #14 of Thought Shot - a newsletter on becoming better leaders.
In this edition I write about a personal milestone moment and some interesting things that I thought you would enjoy reading.
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I hit a milestone this weekend.
My little one turned 6 - which means I also completed 6 years in the very difficult (yet rewarding) role of being a mom.
Before having my daughter - like any other working woman - I had considered (and worried) countless times how having a kid would effect my career, my passion projects, my hobbies.. and basically my life.
Looking back, I can confidently say that being a mom has only made me better in every way.
Her birthday also marked the beginning of school summer vacations and as I juggled to-do lists, I ended up with some reflections as well.
As a working parent, I realized there are so many skills that I continuously get to polish:
✅ Ruthless Prioritization: I value the precious moments of my day with her, so I prioritize ruthlessly to cut back the noise and clutter (especially from social media). I time block and plan my time so I can hit my work goals effectively without compromising on my personal time with her.
✅ Planning and Time Management: As women, we often have multiple tabs open in our minds about everything that needs to be done. Being a mom (and a working one at that) has helped me flex my muscle and continuously polish my 'project management' skills to manage checklists and calendars and always think two steps ahead.
✅ Patience: Well, no brainer for this one. The endless questions of a curious 6 year old's mind keeps me on my toes and teaches me how to practice patience - especially while juggling work deadlines. And this comes handy while managing tricky projects and not-so-easy clients. Well, patience is a hard earned virtue and she is helping me earn it, haha!
Also, this was so timely with getting interviewed for the publication Decks and Diapers.
Talking about managing time, life and feelings - that’s what today’s edition is about.
I am sharing three things you could check out over the weekend - a TED Talk, an Article, and an image. So grab your cuppa and settle in!
[TED Talk] Are You Filling Time With What Matters?
I am a sucker for time management tools, frameworks and thought leadership. So when I stumbled about this TED talk, I knew I I had to share it - I guarantee you will have a ‘spark’ moment as you listen to it.
Laura Vanderkam is a mother of 5 kids and the author of several time management and productivity books. She says she started her time management journey simply by seeking to understand how people used the 168 hours of their week.
Here are some of the golden nuggets she shares -
We don’t build a life to save time. We build a life that we want, and time will get saved by itself.
Time is highly elastic. Time is a choice. Time will choose to accommodate what we put into it. We need to prioritize the right things for our time.
We have the power to fill our lives with the things that we want to be there.
One of the things she talks about is using ‘Friday afternoons’ to plan for the week ahead. She suggests adding goals to three categories - Career, Relationships and Self. Having these categories forces us to really think about them and add something in that list - which is great.
As I was listening to this, I realized how most of my own plans focus mainly on career or relationships, not so much on self - it was eye opening for me.
[Article] Work life balance is a cycle, not an achievement
A few days ago, I emailed a senior executive at my organization (outside the office hours) and I got a very interesting out of office email. The executive mentioned that these were his hours outside work and he was most likely out with his kids reading books or out in the playground.
I found it fascinating for two reasons. One - he normalized having a life outside of work and drew boundaries clearly. Second - he communicated these priorities explicitly. Sure, I understand this is difficult to do when you are not too higher-up in the organization, but have you ever tried?
Even if you do not feel comfortable communicating it explicitly, do you at least prioritize what matters, outside of work?
I am guilty that I often don’t. I often check emails/respond to messages way outside working hours. And also I have a few tabs in my brain always thinking about work to-do’s. I am trying though - to change, mentally switch modes and find better balance.
After all, like this Harvard Business Review article tells us - Work life balance is a cycle, not an achievement. It is not a one-time fix, but rather, a cycle that we must engage in continuously as our circumstances and priorities evolve.
This article is a quick read, but will definitely have you questioning some assumptions.
[Tool] Is That How You Really Feel?
Have you ever asked someone “Hey, how are you feeling!” I can guarantee the answer is mostly ‘good, okay, all right etc.”
And more often than not, the answers are not necessarily be true though.
Sometimes our feelings - or those of our family, bosses, teams - can be really intense and in our face. But sometimes they can be hidden, buried deep and less obvious.
While running workshops (and sometimes even team meetings), I love using a tool called “Feelings Wheel”. The Wheel is a brainchild of Dr. Gloria Willcox and it often helps us put words to our emotions in a better way.
The wheel helps us move from our ‘primary emotions’ (happy, sad, angry, bad, surprised) to our ‘secondary emotions’ that provide a more nuanced understanding of our feelings. Eg. Are you feeling sad? versus are you feeling lonely? vulnerable? guilty? depressed?
You can use the Feelings Wheel not just to check in with others, but also with yourself. How are you really feeling today?
You can tell me what you think by replying back or leaving a comment. Trust me, that’s the best part of my day.
That’s all for today folks. Now, go shine!
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Essay Photo by Jeremy Thomas on Unsplash